Pocono

     Well I’m trying to close out my second issue of CATFISH TIMES and it’s not going so well. Nobody else will write any new stuff for me. So I’m going to use this page to tell the story of mine and Mudshark’s first (and only!) trip to Pocono International Raceway.

     We figured we would head up to Pennsylvania for the F-USA race August 27-29^th. We were hoping to really Love this track, Ya see it's about a three hour drive, even in the motorhome. It takes us about twice that to get to Loudon. Plus as an added bonus, no ferry reservations to make, (or keep for that matter!) So Friday after work we leave at our leisure. Get there in three hours. We follow some people up to the main gate at the tunnel and the security guard tells us to go about two miles back to a different gate, as he told the car in front of us. So we head back to the second gate and as we pull up, the first car is leaving. OK, we figure the first security guard was wrong. Now we have two security guards at this gate. They tell us that we have to go back to the tunnel. We tell them that the tunnel said 11' and we're at least 11'6. The older guard jumps on the p.a. and tries to explain this to someone on the other line. Apparently as a racer it is supposed to cost $35 per person to camp for the weekend. At the second gate it costs $45 per person. The guard is trying to get permission to only charge us $35. We hear whoever he was talking to say, "Charge them the $45, and if they don't like it tell them to go home!" We figure OK, he wasn't talking to us, and maybe he didn't know we could hear and it was only a joke. No harm, no foul. They tell us to pay the $45 and just get a refund tomorrow, so we do. They tell us no open flames or it's a $250 fine. No problem we just wanna make a bite to eat and get some sleep so we can make tech bright and early.

     The camping area looks like the scene in the Road Warrior where all of the bad guys are trying to get into the compound. There were people riding wheelies on the access road in the dark. There was someone on a scooter riding across the grass and into the gully on the side of the road trying to catch air. There were so many open flames it smelled like a damn forest fire. People were blowing off fire works and cheering when they went off. We even heard someone yell out "Fuck you, you rent-a-cop mother fuckers!" INTERESTING!

     We get up at 6ish and head back to the tunnel gate to find an alternate way into the infield. We tell the guy at the gate that we need to get into the infield and as he starts to tell us he sees our dogs behind me and says, "Oh, you have dogs?" I said yes, and he says "Turn around and pull out. No dogs allowed on Pocono property!" I put the motorhome in park and asked him what he was talking about. We spent $90 to spend the weekend here. Plus gas, and countless hours of rushing around. Nobody ever said ANYTHING about no dogs. He told us what building we could go to get a refund for the camping fees. Which we did. We gasses up and were back home around 10:30 Saturday morning. So if you would like my impression of P.I.R. here it goes. The guards are uninformed, snotty, bastards that should realize without the racers, and spectators they won't have jobs. Or maybe if they suck enough of the NASCAR guys off they will always have a place to power trip. I say, "FUCK 'EM!" The ONLY way I'll ever go back to P.I.R. is if the people from L.R.R.S. rent it out, and do ALL of the work themselves. Until then I won't waste my time, and neither should you. L

This page was last updated on:

05/03/2006